(sometimes silence can be the most welcoming sound & solace can be the most wonderful company)
dont you agree?
the past 2 days hadnt been good
maybe cause its the time of the month too
work is never ending as always but i dont seem to be catching up either
uber demoralising
time pass super fast and never do i felt that i had accomplished something
*sigh*
mind been on overdrive
and i dont know what the hell i am thinking also
its as though my brain is hard at work thinking about a lot of things but i cant comprehend fast enough and would forget everything immediately
i dont know
i am just tired
really tired...
wore my new top and pants to work yesterday :)
LOVED the top :))
chic? hahax
thats my new mirror by the way
hahas
the old dresser that is still beside it will be gone for good very soon (i hope)
that is after i buy my, long wanted to acquire, bookshelf ;p
which have to wait until next month, like many of the purchases that i am planning to make
which reminds me that i am very angry actually
over the fact that now the obligations of a sister have extends to having to pay for a 3 months overdued hp bill
which, including the new month, chalked up to a fucking $202.12
and because the brother is currently in camp and his line got fucking cut off
i am so angry when i receive his call demanding me to check out why his line got cut off
and was told to, yes, YOURS TRULY, pay for the fucking bill
not that i do not have my own bills to pay and i am paying for the internet too
also, even if the brother is not in camp
thy have to pay too
BECAUSE thy know that the brother do not have that kind of money and is perpetually broke
thats why...
I DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHY HE DIDNT NOT CONTROL HIS BILLS WHEN HE KNEW HE COULDNT AFFORD!!!!
and somehow i know i wouldnt get back the money that i pay for his bills
grrr
i would most definitely tell him off when i see him this weekend!!!
pissed!
therefore i am now officially broke :(
got to scrimp until the next payday which is next friday :(
shifted my hello kitties to the top of my monitors
hope a fresh look will brighten things up a bit
(i am not a hello kitty fanatic..really)
And post-its & post-its of thoughts and revelations
writing them down make me feel a lot better :)
one day i shall compile all of them and put them up somewhere permanent :)
i just got to know yesterday that the next SIA interview is this sunday
i dont know why i always only got to know just 6 days before the interview (it happen the last time too)
anyways
surprisingly i wasnt too excited this time
i wonder is it the fear of failure or this is not what i truly want
i thought it was the latter since i think i wouldnt feel truly sad if i failed again this time
but i was in a dilemma because i promised to work with jia the coming weekend
was hoping for something to happen to make me go or forsake the interview
(i hate decision making)
working on the weekends was actually more appealing as at least i am getting paid
and the interview holds too much uncertainty
however
Agnes needed someone to be in office on sat
to oversee some workman who will be drilling open a save that got jammed
and guessed who was asked?
no prize for the right answer
which was rather obvious
its not as though i got much of a choice
so i got to be back
and i also have to clear my stuffs too
thus i cant work with jia already and sun would be free so i think i would be going for the interview afterall
just taking a chance this time
seriously i am feeling pretty lost now and its not really the time to go for such a job..
oh well
no harm trying so they say...
the rest of the day pretty much flew by
theres just so many things and so little time and i really dont feel like OT-ing
*sigh*
been feeling rather down after lunch
i dont really know why
just felt pretty sad
maybe its PMS??
emo emo emo~~
argh
i just cant stand being busy sometimes
i am so overwhelmed that everything could keep me on my seat for hours
and i can only afford the luxury to take a break when i go toilet or pantry
sometimes i wished i were a smoker
at least they got a few legitimate breaks throughout the day
where they could walked down and out of the office building with fellow smokers
chit chat and de-stress a bit
unwind and laugh and do their thing (smoking, which i think its an enjoyment to them)
while the rest of us non-smokers slogged hard in the office
not taking breaks as any breaks will be deemed as skiving
see my point?
smokers can walked out of office anytime for smoke breaks
but we non-smokers have to secretly take small breaks without being caught
are the smokers productive when they go for smoke breaks?
then why are we non-smokers not entitled to breaks and even have to work so much harder?
i really really dont understand
in this case isnt a smoker better?
*sigh*
its just a silly thought and ranting and resentment
smoking to still uber bad and its something i would never take up
its just not worth for all the breaks that will be allowed
and i still hate the smell of smoke/second hand smoke to the core..
found another photo the other day at grandma's
the 12 out of 14 of us with grandpa and grandma
we are missing 2 more guys
those were the days...