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This Corporate World & Me
Friday, March 26, 2010 at 8:04 AM
Since we were young, we were taught to be honest, hardworking and responsible.
It seems to be the most fundamental; to be human and humane to those around you
And through my study life, not once did my teachers not harp on these values
"Study hard for your exams!", "If you work hard enough, the results will show.",
"Don't lie to me when you didn't do your work!", "Who did these? You better own up before I find out!"
Well, these may not be good examples, but explicitly or implicitly, the values are there.

Growing up in an environment like this
Plus the fact that my persona is those who never speak up for herself
I frequently got bullied to do things for others, even if I really don't want to
I just wanna play the nice guy, never the one who doesn't help another
I was afraid of being dislike
I don't wanna do something to another when I don't want the same to be done to me
And so I got pushed around, even by friends
Sometimes I wonder, do they really like me or was I just convenient/easy to use?

Then when i stepped into the corporate world
Everything (the values) that i had learnt became wrong
Its no long working hard but working smart and working smart may not mean literally
By working smart, sometimes you got to be dishonest, you got to shirk off responsibility
You got to pretend that you dont know so that you wouldnt be arrowed to do it
Its ok to be less clever cause there will be people who are more
and those who are more competent do more because sometimes they simply got bullied more
"You do this. You know how to do it right? (cause i dont know)"
And if you are too nice to say no then you find yourself with more work than you can finish
thats your reward for trying to please everybody.
what an irony.

Then there will be people who ride on your weakness
They pushed you things because you cant say no
They used the names of the higher authority to make you do their things
How they treat you on the surface is the opposite of how they treat you in the dark
Just like the Chinese saying: "Underneath the smile, hids the knife"
Its blatant sometimes but you are helpless
Because your position is lower or your experience is lesser, this is the shit you got to go through
"Teamwork" is actually a word that has a hidden "I"
That...is a fact.

So one got to learn to protect yourself
You got to grow some "spikes", learn to be firm and say "No" to things that you cant afford to spend the time on
So what if the person dont like you after, you cant please everybody
You got to learn to be selfish, independent and in control
Nobody is gonna pity you if you are too nice, they will say that you are just being stupid
Play the good guy and die early - thats another fact.

There is no right or wrong, true or false, no black and white, just gray areas
It is how well you can defend you stand, how well you can persuade
How good you are with manipulation, even brainwashing
Learning to camoflauge makes you invisible to your predaters and the naives are your best preys
Know when to say/do what; Do the "right" things at the right time

Stomach all these and learn well before you enter this corporate world
Its not gonna be easy; nobody says that it ever was
Its a sickening place where acquaintences are common but rarely friends; it is normal to feel alone.
It is a sad fact - the only adults you may ever trust is your parents who would be the last person to hurt you
but come to think of it, you are becoming one of the adults to be not trusted
It is a neverending vicious cycle; even if you dont want to admit
This world is a scary place because of the humans in it.
Accept this fact and learn to live with it.

I had learnt things the hard way and i am still learning.
Because no matter how sick and tired i am, there is still a long long way to go.

*Via my Blackberry*
xoxo, Amber ♥
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