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Tuesday, October 28, 2008 at 10:12 PM
its 1 hour difference but 5313 kilometres apart

was i missed?
i missed my sunshine girl
i missed feeling happy about working
i missed knocking off at 6pm sharp
i missed having a life...


the day just cant get any worse
with goodbye that i could hardly utter
the high piles of undone
tons of things that are sadly all irrelevant to clearing my work but needed my attention
then to the final blow
a mistake
irreversible one somemore
and involves the higher management
thus i am in kinda deep shit
i fear going into that glass office to answer to anything
i think most prob i will break down and cry
which is downright embarrassing
fuck
yes
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
argh!!!!!!!!!


"to be on the edge of breaking down
and no one is there to save you..."
"cause you dont know what its like..
welcome to my life!!!"


i hate it when something went wrong
and i am part of the cause
cant stop the guilt from gnawing into my heart
cant stop from feeling responsible
cant stop from feeling demoralised
cant stop the disappointment
cant stop feeling sad
cant stop cursing under my breath

*SIGH*


to think the day actually started out quite alright
it took a turn like the weather
all gloomy near midday

i need to sleep early
but i dont want to
cause it will be tomorrow so soon
and i will need to face the same shit all over again
piling the stuffs i need to do on my table
and pile the same stack back at the end of the day
i dont need more money really
i need more time
now even 48 hours is not enough
maybe 72 will be just nice
i feel so helpless at times!!!

i stared at myself in the mirror just now
and tears just flowed
the events of the recent days unfold again in my mind
i feel so sick of everything
i just want to curl up and cry

i think i saw something "dirty" today
mummy say that i should put my fringe up
i think i am uber down on my luck
haix

bel say
i am so down already so i should go up next
i wonder when will that be
maybe after loads of mindless splurgings and shoppings
lols
but thy got a couple of debts to clear off first

i am sorry
all my posts had been so uber gloomy
haix
just let me wallow for a bit longer
the sunny sunshine girl will be back :)
i promise...
cause i missed her too...
xoxo, Amber ♥
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