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Monday, October 27, 2008 at 8:17 AM
i missed blogging
but i cant do it in the office
theres so many things to say
so many unspoken thoughts
but i am too shattered to do anything nice about nice stuffs
i got many photos
many outings
a million of happy things
but one sad moment
a few hours of drama
all the happinessness were zapped away

i feel like shopping
spending a lot of money
maybe it will help to fill the emptiness in my heart

i just wanna get over with the current situation
him hating me mayb just be better bahx
many a times explanations only make the situations worse
if he is mature enough then he will think it through himself
if not whatever i say will only be thought as that of defense

i only need people who trusted me

too many a times am i accused in these 20 years on earth
too many a times am i called a flirt
a slut
a bitch
a whatever
too many a times do they tink that i am an easy women
too many a times had i lost a friend

how many people know me through and through
how many knew how soft i am inside
how many knew just how much miles i can go for a friend
how many knew just how much i cared

i am strong outside
very strong
or maybe looked strong
ask the guys
hahas
i am the tomboy
basketball
soccer
hanging out
gaming
i grew up with 11 boys
and i already got 2 of them living with me
i am used to being around them
comfortable
i mixed really well with guys
but some people just dont get it
platonic relationships just doesnt seem to exist in their vocabulary or understanding

maybe sometimes what i did did cross the line
this lesson i learned many a times
but me being me
i really dont know what to do

there seem to be a thorn poking me in my heart
i need someone to be here
a hug
wipe my tears away
i need a girlfriend
a shoulder to ly on

too spent
too used
too tired
too tearful

to digress
high school muscial 3 is great!
who want to watch it with me again?

i feel like bawling out loud
feel like screaming
feel like shouting
i tink i can cry forever
if theres a tap/switch to stop the tear duct from flowing, teach me please..
xoxo, Amber ♥
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