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Friday, March 02, 2007 at 9:21 AM
freaking0922am :(

5 more hours??
haix

jux felt that sometimes
people whom u noe but nv see before
ie through msn, friendster, online games..
maybe for my case bahx
it seems easier to talk to them
to open up
cox they dun judge u
or should i say they cant
cox in the first place they dun really noe u
its easier to tell them that u are a failer
den telling those people u noe
cox most prob they will sincerely console you
but those who noe u may jux agree that u are a failer
theres a lot of things that i gain in my JC life
but i lost a lot more too
how i wish everything can start again
but its a impossible wish
i see a lot of people
i judge a lot of people
i am judge by a lot more people
and truthfully
out of my 2 years
no matter wad i did
no matter how hard i tried
i couldnt get wad i wan
the acknowledgement
the feeling that i did something nicely and others are proud of me
how many projects had i done
seriously i didnt count
but in everyone of them
i put in my all
and i saw people who put in lesser efforts
but are praise for the lil things that they did cox they got the talent
me?
i haven found my talent
but i did all the things that i should
but in the end
i felt redundant
cox no matter how hard i tried
the smile is not towards me
my name wouldnt be said out
i cant say that i have done this this this
cause i done evrything else that seems crucial but insignificant
i felt unloved, unappreciated, and all the un-s
its a feeling of despair
wanting to give up
but still moving on
with a disheartened heart
nobody really cares
they are too pre-occupied with their sorrows or joys
i kept it to myself
i tot i could cope
but in the end
wad did i get?
for everything that i did
its was forgotten
i never got wad i wan
i was jux me
a lil me
thrown away like a ragged doll
used thus useless
left alone
abandoned
and thus i lost everything
i lost hope

*imissyou*
xoxo, Amber ♥
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