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typical tuesday (3rd march 2009)
Wednesday, March 04, 2009 at 1:53 AM
药材鸡 for lunch
appetite is really decreasing
didnt even finish the little amount of rice
good or bad?

OT again

the sight you get to see if you OT till as late as me
an empty office at night

today -

most contradicting thing i heard:
"OT eat something and drink more water. Dont overwork" - Dennis
i told him: "already need OT le, where got time to eat and drink and not be overwork?"
LOLS

most funny thing i heard:
"sunrise turnover" - Mingkai
Muhahahahahahahs...forever laughable :p

a msn conversation that make me write down what i had been experiencing in the past months:
SS Do you like the rain? says:
sunz
SS Do you like the rain? says:
i got a qn
SS Do you like the rain? says:
i noe a bit weird to ask u now lah
AMber-licious ♥ nearly everything is going the wrong way...... says:
wad?
SS Do you like the rain? says:
how do u noe if u like some1?
AMber-licious ♥ nearly everything is going the wrong way...... says:
hahahs
AMber-licious ♥ nearly everything is going the wrong way...... says:
when u start missing him alot
AMber-licious ♥ nearly everything is going the wrong way...... says:
start searching for him in the crowd
AMber-licious ♥ nearly everything is going the wrong way...... says:
start noticing his every movement
AMber-licious ♥ nearly everything is going the wrong way...... says:
start to love to meet him but hate to say goodbye
AMber-licious ♥ nearly everything is going the wrong way...... says:
start to see his shadow whenever you go
AMber-licious ♥ nearly everything is going the wrong way...... says:
start to see his sms and jump with glee
AMber-licious ♥ nearly everything is going the wrong way...... says:
start to not receive his sms and got very upset about it

i kind of think i make a lot of sense here

i took away this thoughts from myself:
a white lie is not ok cause its still a lie
dont impress me for the sake of impressing me by trying to be someone you arent
cause a lot of times i am only truly impressed when you are being who you really are

inferiority strikes
maybe i am not good enough
where is my confidence when i need it most?
how to move forward when fear, hesitations, obligations & darkness lies ahead
the path to the unknown
but if i let this go
will i regret in the future?
but if i stubbornly move ahead
will i be hurt?
stop or go?
or stay "amber"?
stuck in between; neither here nor there...
i cant make up my mind
its too huge a leap, too high a risk?
things can never be kept simple
can it?

is there a pause button for life?

its just another random thoughts day...


(will you fold a ferrero rose for me?)
xoxo, Amber ♥
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