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Friday, September 14, 2007 at 10:39 PM
i am a coward
i run away from reality
i cant stand knowing that others seems to live life fuller den me
i am selfish in some ways
but theres a lot abt me that u dunno, wun noe and will never noe
i faces different ppl with different masks
but i am never a hypocrite
i hide myself so well den i dun even noe myself sometimes
u will never see that i have problems
cox nobody will noe unless i tell
and i seldom tell
i keep to myself cox i dun like ppl to talk behind my back
i live in a kind of fear
the fear of rejection
fear of being different
fear of being alone
i dun like to pretend
if i hate you, i wun even smile at you
i am soft
too soft
so ppl pushes me around
i dun like to be used
but for friends i do tend to go the extra extra mile
i dunno wad i am talking abt anymore
its random random random
wads true wads false
wads right wads wrong
wads real wads fake
wads good wads bad
its all jux about us ritex?
we are human and so we can think thats why we can noe
but why are there still ppl who make the wrong decision and go the wrong way?
why choose darkness when light is jux a line away?
why when i noe that u can decide but u still make the wrong decision and cause me grief?
why my world cant be more stright forward and less of pain?
yes
i am hurting
deep deep inside
so hurt that i can scream no more
so hurt that tears can jux flow out
u dunno wad i am experiencing unless u are me
dun guess cox u will never get it rite
let me vent
i hope the sadness will go away
the problems will solve by itself
life will be normal again
like real
nothings normal anymore
nothings perfect
its jux my life
xoxo, Amber ♥
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