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Wednesday, June 13, 2007 at 6:37 PM
didnt make it for xiang's POP
haix
cox my fainting spell hit me while i was on the train
was going to redhill to get camera from dear's bro
the train was going towards commonwealth
when that feeling came over me
i recognized it at once
its a old ailment that had relapse ever other time in my life since young
cox either by hunger or sudden dip in blood pressure
i was like "Oh SHIT"
planned to alight on commonwealth
but didnt make it in time.
all the time
i dun faint immediately
never did, not even once
but thats the agony
its better that u got knock out cold
den u feel sick all over and vision got clouded by burst of colours
colours that blinds u.
i barely manage an excuse me and reach the door
when i cant see wads in front anymore and cant make my way out
my instinct is to squat down when i felt better
it was an old trick
but it only serves it purpose for a while
nearing redhill i stood up
tinking that i felt better enough to exit
but i was wrong
this time it came faster
the door open
but i cant see anymore
i was afraid of the gap between the platform and the door
i was afraid that i will step into it
but i have to exit
at least redhill is near dear's house
blinded
i took huge step
knock into some ppl and made it safely out of the door
i was in cold sweat, cause by the ailment and my fears
i barely made it out of the station
i bought some bread from the nearby bakery
hoping that eating a bit will make me feel better
took 1 bite and i cant eat anymore
collapse onto the staircase leading to the station
i hugged my bag and try to find ways to make myself comfortable but in vain
i was dripping with sweat
my blood runs cold
i wish for dear to be there
but he cant cox he is working
this time round i face it alone

now that i had written all this down
i wonder why no one came up to ask me if i needed help
where's the kindness that one's suppose to have?
wad had become of us humans?
questions that do not need answers

esther came to meet me at redhill station
she didnt want to go alone
and i felt bad cox i cant go and i am afraid it will come again
she accompany me for a while
afterwhich we parted and i left for dear's house

sorry xiang cox i noe POP is ur once in a lifetime but i cant be there
thanx esther for coming down to show her care :)

sometimes when i stood by the window and look down to other people
i wished that i could stand there forever and let time wash over me
i dun need time to slow down for me
i jux want to slow down my pace of life and find new things to enjoy
- me
*imissyou*
xoxo, Amber ♥
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